Geek-Related Predictions for 2023 Results

Looking over the predictions from the previous year is the moment intensely I await at the end of every year. I haven’t taken a close look at these since I typed and posted them, so I’m sure I did well. I’m batting 12 for 12 here, right? There’s only one way to find out: To dive right into the fun — or the hellscape. Let’s tally it up.

(Just kidding. I am legitimately terrified here. Ugh.)

1. Nintendo will reveal their next gaming platform this year, a new-generation leap over the Nintendo Switch. They will confirm its release for early 2024.

No, no, of course they didn’t. Maybe next year. I must be a glutton for punishment.

2. Speaking of Nintendo: 2023 is the year in which the company will finally reveal Retro Studios’ Metroid Prime 4. But no release date or timeframe will be provided.

Absolutely not. But Metroid Prime Remastered was announced and released, so maybe they’re getting close.

3. Konami, which has somewhat returned to video game development, will reveal a brand-new Metal Gear game. But they won’t provide any kind of release timeframe for it.

They revealed a brand-new… remake of a Metal Gear game. (That’s Metal Gear Solid Δ: Snake Eater.) That counts for… a quarter of a point, I think.

4. Atlus will finally reveal Persona 6. I will buck the trend from the last two predictions by saying that it will also release this year.

Ahahaha, nah. At the rate they’re going, it would be a surprise if it released next year. This is a bit of revenge from Drew for me being too lazy to stream.

5. Marvel Entertainment will start getting desperate after a series of Marvel movies have done worse than their predecessors, and will officially reveal plans to introduce the X-Men into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

No. Sweet Jesus. They’re plenty of time for Marvel to start getting desperate, though, considering the performances of some TV shows and movies. This went double for The Marvels.

6. The Super Mario Bros. movie will be the highest-grossing animated film of the year worldwide, and will be among the biggest movies overall.

We’re halfway through, and I finally got one right. Very cool.

7. There’s been plenty of skepticism of legality surrounding Microsoft’s impending acquisition of Activision Blizzard, which has led to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) taking the significant step of suing to stop it. But only a small number of large corporate acquisitions have been successfully scuttled. Though one was stopped this year (for now, anyway), the Microsoft and Activision Blizzard one ultimately won’t be.

Yup, the acquisition was completed, and Bobby Kotick just left Activision. This one was easy to predict considering how much America (and several other countries) love megacorporations, but a win is a win.

8. Tekken 8 will launch with the same bad online netplay as previous Bandai Namco fighting games. No rollback netcode here.

It has not launched yet, with the release date being January 26th. The verdict is still out on the netplay, though the beta sessions have suggested that while it’s better than Tekken 7’s, it still leaves much to be desired.

9. A new and slimmer PlayStation 5 model will launch later in the year, a system that will further encourage owners to buy games digitally rather than physically.

This one’s almost bang on, though it wasn’t difficult to predict. The only miss here is that I figured Sony would make the digital option more enticing. The disc drive needs an online check to work, but they also hiked the price of the digital slim model by $50. I’ll give myself three quarters of a point.

10. Dragon Ball will still not return as a TV series. Instead, another new movie will be announced.

Well… it is returning as a TV series, though it’s not quite the Dragon Ball Super successor people wanted. Oh well.

11. The AI revolution will only get worse. Not only will more entertainment works utilize it as High on Life did in 2022, but companies will start putting out press releases entirely written by AI.

This didn’t happen to press releases, but it did happen with quick statements. Witness Daedelic Entertainment’s statement about the poor reaction to The Lord of the Rings: Gollum, which explains why it fudged the name of The Lord of the Rings franchise. Incredible stuff, honestly. More entertainment works have used AI art, like a crop of bad indie games available on places like the Switch eShop. I’ll give myself three quarters of a point here.

12. Final Fantasy VII Rebirth will not release by the year’s end, it will be delayed out of the “winter” release timeframe. It will be announced for a release after this period.

It indeed did not release by the end of 2023, but it’s still releasing in the winter — on February 29th, 2024, specifically. I’ll get half a point here.

 

Overall: 4.25. Goddamn, that’s even worse than last year. And here I initially thought I improved my performance over the last year. I’m not even going to guess what the result will be this time next year after I post the new predictions tomorrow, though maybe I should be a little easier on myself. But just a little.