Semantic Nonsense: Disneyvania is low on Magic

Disney Illusion Island impressions

Disney’s video games have a storied history of classic (and some not-so-classic albeit commonly played) platformers.

Disney Illusion Island for the Switch forges some new ground with a fascinating mix in its design: A four-player simultaneous Metroidvania with no weapons. This sounded wild enough on paper that I had to give it a shot.

While there are no attacks in this game, there are enemies. A lot of the platforming involves using the terrain and your movement skills to navigate around all these monsters. The game has boss fights, but they, too, are part of your involuntary pacifist run; you must take advantage of the bosses habit of supplying you with methods that force them to beat themselves.

While the concept is interesting and the visuals stunning, the moment-to-moment gameplay doesn’t take long to become a bit dull. The world never really opens up and the game falls into a cadence of need to go to place/need to find new skill to go to place. Most of the map is just paths connecting all the Chasm-like one-room puzzles that gate your progression, and there’s never more interesting ways to cut through old places like you’d find in a proper Metroidvania.

The secrets are easy and obvious once you learn the tell, but the only things hidden have no effect on the gameplay. As the game’s design necessitates you to perform tasks in a prescribed order and completely cuts out combat, nothing but collectables can be hidden to begin with. I gained a new appreciation for item drops and optional relics in the Castlevania games after going without them here.

It didn’t get aggravating like the worst of the Shantae games; it just got dull. I would say that this obviously serves a role as baby’s first Metroidvania, but the platforming and enemy dodging does get precise far too early to serve as a platforming newcomer’s training wheels. Or perhaps I don’t give kids these days enough credit.

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Report Card

With the summer heat mostly vanquished (along with my poor dehumidifier), the time has come once again to check in on my progress toward managing both my backlog and expectations in an ongoing series I somehow haven’t named, “What the hell am I even doing?”

I’d come back to this well a little less often if I didn’t need to use it to help keep me honest. But 7% or so of my year’s blogging isn’t too much to ask. And perhaps others may be inspired should I fight valiantly.

While stream-wise, we’ve finally made it to Persona 4 Arena, off stream I have yet to make progress on Cult of the Lamb, Digimon World: Next Order and Zero Time Dilemma. This was largely due to me shifting focus to the TV and movie backlog for a breather. On that front, I managed to get current on all the shows I was “actively” watching, knocked off a few movies and even squeezed in Secret Invasion and My Adventures with Superman. Though I’m still three miniseries short of being up to date with the MCU. I also slowly but surely got closer to having seen every episode of Um…. Actually with a mere 25 more to go.

Despite the possibility of writing for Quarantine Control about Stranger Things season 4, The Flash, Super Mario Bros., Shazam: Fury of the Gods, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, or any of the other things I watched in this run, I have not. Sometimes it’s just a tight week. Other times, it’s that somebody else got to them first and I didn’t want to double up and step on toes. And, of course, there have been weeks in which I simply hadn’t finished watched anything yet. There’s been a “reason” for so many weeks this year that I’m on the verge of completing more Persona games this year than Quarantine Control submissions. The fact that they are currently tied is already ridiculous.