Microsoft Has Too Much Goddamned Money

One of the first things I usually do upon getting up in the morning involves turning on the phone to see the early news of the day, on either news-specific apps or, mostly, Twitter. Key horrifying politics news aside, it’s typically a mundane check of everything that’s happened overnight. But this morning was different in terms of video game industry-related content thanks to BIG news. The Wall Street Journal reported that Microsoft was nearing a deal to buy Activision Blizzard, a fellow bulbous corporation worth billions of dollars. It only took minutes for both involved to confirm the deal was happening, to the tune of an obscene $68.7 billion.

This is all, to put it simply, ridiculous. It was logical to think that Microsoft would cool it with larger acquisitions for a while after the previously-bonkers Zenimax acquisition, but the Activision Blizzard purchase makes that one look tiny considering the comparatively mere $7.5 billion deal. Microsoft has entirely too much goddamned money.

The image montage shows precisely the franchises that made Microsoft think this was worth it. In addition to Activision’s franchises, which extend beyond Call of Duty despite their best efforts convince the audience otherwise, popular Blizzard franchises like Overwatch, Diablo, Warcraft, and Starcraft will all be under Microsoft’s banner. King shouldn’t be underestimated here either, even if most gaming types still only know them for Candy Crush, by far their biggest hit. The Blizzard franchises will still remain PC focused, joining a lineage of Microsoft franchises like Microsoft Flight Simulator and Age of Empires, while still receiving ports to Xbox consoles.

The juggernaut here, and the part that likely frustrated Sony executives the most, is Call of Duty. It remains one of the biggest franchises in the gaming world despite sales for new installments slightly dropping, and it’s crazy to think about how it will now be a Microsoft-owned series.

Bloomberg, via their sources, mentioned how “Microsoft plans to keep making some of Activision’s games for PlayStation consoles but will also keep some content exclusive to Xbox.” But this is the same kind of corporate talk that went around when Microsoft acquired Zenimax, a guessing game as to whether the biggest future installments in franchises will soon be kept off PlayStation platforms. This is what they want to say publicly as the deal is being evaluated by the Department of Justice’s Antitrust Division as they inevitably overlook an acquisition so massive, one which just so happened to launch a reform of the merger approval process with the FTC just this morning. Xbox executives like Phil Spencer, now CEO of Microsoft Gaming, wasted no time confirming how titles like Starfield and the next Elder Scrolls title from Zenimax subsidiary Bethesda Softworks will be console-exclusive to Xbox after the deal was finalized. The same will happen here.

Anyone playing guessing games as to whether ports like Overwatch 2 and Diablo 4 and especially future titles like yearly CoD games will make their way to PlayStation (and perhaps Nintendo) platforms is kidding themselves. Yet, it’s also the kind of speculation fest that Microsoft and Activision Blizzard want to see on full display on social media and gaming and tech enthusiast websites for the above-mentioned reasons. Future support for non-Xbox gaming platforms will likely consist of updates and expansions for games that already released, like the recent Call of Duty: Vanguard and maybe support for the Warzone battle royale experience. This is a monopoly on par with Disney acquiring a bunch of competition in the entertainment world.

The executive shuffling is another question here, particularly the fate of Activision Blizzard’s Bobby Kotick. Kotick has overseen Activision and all the companies they’ve acquired for three decades and, more topically, presided over a pervasive culture of harassment and abuse at the company over many years. He would have resigned by now if he had any shame, but you don’t get to be a CEO by having — yuck — feelings. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Kotick plans to leave after the deal finalizes, clarifying how all the talk from this morning about him remaining will only be temporary as the company transitions over to Microsoft’s control.

I’d like to imagine that Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella told Phil Spencer to put a lid on it after lightly criticizing Kotick a couple of months ago. Kotick will be kicked out of a figurative plane with a nice and fat golden parachute as he gleefully falls into a mansion pool. This will hardly qualify as a punishment for everything he’s done, but that’s the fun of being rich in a capitalistic hellhole.

It was long predicted that the video game industry would reach a time when bigger companies would gobble up dozens-upon-dozens of relatively smaller counterparts. If this doesn’t tell anyone that we’ve fully arrived at that moment, nothing will. It remains to be seen how Sony will respond, but it’s easy to imagine them getting some kind of deal with EA’s Battlefield franchise. They’ll additionally continue to gobble up other companies of their own. The future will be wild, to say the least, but it’s nice that the people who longed for the return of the period when consoles had their own distinguishable lineups will get their wish.

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