Unfinished Business: Kit Kats

In my one and only video food review, I teased a treasure trove of exotic Kit Kat flavors. And while I finished writing them up ages ago, my decision to parcel them out one at a time at the end of Semantic Nonsense volumes means it’s taken years to get through only some of them.

With the Semantic Nonsense column having not run in the past 6 months and so many flavors left to go, it’s high time I just dropped the lot on you under the flag of Unfinished Business and be done with it already.

Besides, what could be more toptical for my first post after Halloween than digging through leftover candy?

Today, I present to you 10 Kit Kats for 10 years of Damage Control (even though it’s 11 now).

Sweet Cinnamon

Let’s start things off with a newcomer, recently introduced as a Christmas selection for the North American market.

This is one of those Kit Kats in which you get exactly what it says on the tin… foil. It’s a regular Kit Kat, but with sweater chocolate (perhaps a tad creamier, too) that’s laced with cinnamon. I didn’t notice any of the flavor making its way to the wafer, so this one’s a simple conversion, unlike our next contestant:

Chili & Passion Fruit

Well, things have taken a turn.

I wouldn’t normally think of putting these two flavors together, but that’s why I’m a terrible cook. A strong fruity flavor and a strong spicy flavor are a fantastic match. The chili lingers on your tongue a while, though, so you have to really like the spicy.

Blueberry

While this one is just fruit, the blueberry Kit Kat packs most of its flavor into the aftertaste, like the chili. This oddly purple (so royal blueberry?) Kit Kat tastes less natural than the other fruit Kit Kats I’ve eaten along this grand journey.

Iyokan

A soft, creamy citrus-like flavor that’s closer to a creamsicle than an actual orange. This particular one came with a motivational “Hang in there!” slogan on the package.

Oolong Tea

How does this one compare to the various Grandmaster-level Green Tea-related Kit Kats? Not very well. It’s a very subdued hint of Oolong that you might miss entirely if you were just nibbling it. The flavor is about as accurate, but you’re going to have to eat the whole bar in one go to notice before it’s gone.

Passion Fruit

Yes, for the sensitive tongues out there, you can get a passion fruit Kit Kat sans chilli.

While sometimes Kit Kat varieties that share flavors with one another have entirely different recipes, the passion fruit here comes out exactly the same as before, flavorful and — somehow — juicy.

Ikinari Danko

This special, fundraising Kit Kat for those affected by the 2016 earthquakes is named after a quick dumpling recipe using mostly sweet potato and red bean paste. It’s quite similar in concept (but probably not in taste) to the Maine delicacy of Needhams.

”What is Ikinari Danko, Alex?”

”That doesn’t count, you read the headline.”

The construction of the Kit Kat itself mirrors the dumpling, with potato being the chocolate [sic] coating and the red bean flavor coming from the wafer. I’m assuming the flavor is true, because this is very much so not my thing and I really need a palate cleanser now.

Gyokuro Tea

A green tea, but generally not the Green Tea you usually think of, the Gyokuro Kit Kat has a more bitter flavor compared to its matcha-flavored cousin.

Yuzu

This Kit Kat was perhaps the tartest thing I have ever tasted. If you need tart to slap you in the face in order to know what tart is, this Kit Kat will backhand you while wearing 17 class rings.

It’s not a bad flavor, per se. Just BIG.

Black Tea

This is probably the tea most people in my neck of the woods are familiar with. The kind of plain, ordinary tea that adding a (different) single ingredient to create most of the blends commonly known in America and Europe.

For example, if you’re after some Kit Kat, Earl Grey, Hot, all you need do is heat up some bergamot oil. And I do recommend adding something because, just like plain ol’ tea, this flavor is a little ho-hum on its own.

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While the backlog is now clear, this probably won’t be the true end of my excellent Kit Kat adventure. I will continue to sample new flavors as they come along. While I no longer feel obliged to write about them, you may yet see a Kit Kat Flavor of the Week every now and then just the same.