The Ads of Super Bowl L

This year’s Super Bowl commercial reviews came quite late, as I was stuck behind other time-sensitive blogging. Some people say that I should just blog more than once a week. I disagree.

Funny ads

Best: Doritos — Ultrasound

This was one of only two ads to make my jaded self laugh out loud; that’s gotta be worth something. It’s a great example of buildup and payoff.

Worst: Shocktop — TJ Miller

To be the worst funny ad, an ad must not simply fail to be funny; it has to think it’s being funny and be completely, utterly wrong. Shocktop and TJ Miller deliver only the tamest shock humor. At least Ryan Reynolds got a decent ad for Hyundai.

Car ads

Best: Honda — A New Truck To Love

As I repeatedly said last year, car ads are rarely about cars and often about image (I’m looking at YOU, Jeep — 4x4ever). Despite being 97% funny animals, this ad manages to be entirely about an actual feature of the product. Congratulations!

Worst: Acura — Runnin’ With The Devil

Blatantly made using the David Lee Roth soundboard (the website for which is mysteriously offline at the moment), and is too timid to use the best sounds.

Football-themed ads

Best: Amazon — Echo Party

Alec Baldwin and Dan Marino trade barbs in what is by far the best idea for a football party buffet. The only thing that could have made this better was a “laces out” reference.

Worst: Xifaxan — New

Well I’m sure having a diarrhea attack at a sports stadium is a very real nightmare for many a sports fan, it’s an ad for prescription-strength diarrhea treatment. Though a bigger bummer would occur later in AstraZeneca — Unbranded Envy.

Movie trailers

Best: X-Men (Apocalypse)

In just 30 seconds, you get to see all the characters and the stakes of the plot. A masterclass in efficient communication, sure, but it also includes enough visual spectacle to fit television’s biggest night.

Worst: Independence Day (Resurgence)

It’s looking more and more like Will SMith made the right choice about which movie to be in this year. “What goes up, must come down,” is trying very, very hard to be the new “Time’s up.” Bud Light — The Bud Light Party was a much better callback to the original movie. Thank godnees Jeff Godblum has a much better steady gig with Apartments.com.

Serious/Sentimental

Just about everybody did these this year, and they all were very boring and self-congratulating. There is no best; all are the worst.

Superlatives

Best PSA: Budweiser — Simply Put (Helen Mirren)

Best “Hey, isn’t that Kevin Butler?” : T-Mobile — Drake Music Video

Most improved over XLIX: Jublia — Spa Day (Howie Long/Deion Sanders/Phil Simms)

It’s not great, but a substantially better showing than last year’s ad.

Better than Transformers: Schick — Hydro Robot Razors

Michael Bay could take a lesson from Schick’s advertisers. There’s no stock footage, the two robots are very clearly differentiated and I can tell what’s going on during the fight.

Commercial most likely to make me remember the phrase “Integrated Brand Promotion” : Wix.com — Super Po

With an honorable mention to Coke — Hulk/Ant-Man

Most overblown: LG — Man From The Future

They blew a one-minute spot on a sci-fi drek story to set up a TV. It’s like they were trying to one-up the 1984 ad but only managed to clone its pretension.

Loosest grip on economics: Quicken Loans — Push Button Get Mortgage

Apparently, taking out a huge loan for a house also grants you unlimited cash to buy consumer goods instead of, you know, damning you into house-poorness.

I am reminded of a time long ago when I scrimped and saved to buy an iPod. A person told me, “That thing cost $300, you need to get a case to protect it.”

To which I replied, “That thing cost $300. I have nothing left for a case to protect it.”